Diary Of An Awoite by Spice

By Damilola Toblan Spice

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The day stretches out with the weather gloomy and the school so scanty as I gazed from the corridor of my great Hall of residence in Awo hall and sighted some damsels walk through…hush, hercules! The corridors all became lively with the presence of the girls with screams of “kileyi”, “Egbami”…Zoom, my mind raced like thunder and I was in a trance. OAU “Orebe” won’t kill us sha!!

I have suffered in the hands of so called big girls in this OAU! The other evening, my Buddy, a pretty girl from the other side of town, invited me to her expensive rented room in Town and begins to talk to me about sweet sex at 8 o’clock in the night. She painted a picture of places, where rich Nigerians live in gated houses with dogs, housemaids, security guards and a fleet of latest cars.

I imaginarily saw a magnificent house with a gate as tall as tall can be and a lovely roof as beautiful as beauty can be. I stared at the house again like I gazed @ Ukwu! when I sit at “NFA” and Bakasi’s goes up and down like “sekere” infront of me, awon omo yi o ni pa wa sha!

I dreamt I was beside the house as she begins to tell me about sex and money. “SPiCe,” she begins, “anything a man tells me in that kind of house, I will understand.” “You see,” she continues, “when you’re with a man in such a house and he tells you, baby I need you tonight, you just flow with his words and even help him complete his sentences. You tell him yes baby! Yes sweetheart! Yes honey!”.

“But in Awolowo Hall, which looks like a dirt Chimney and Rat Colony,” she continues, “with the “barbaric-ness” of doz “awo-clowns” and the heat all over, you will be saying to him ‘Are you not done? Please do fast! I am tired do fast! The heat will kill me o!”

I was listening to her, laughing at myself and praying that TY’s “Saara” Scholarship becomes a custom in our Union so that I can one day sleep in Cameron Hotel.

I tried to shift topic and asked her: “What if the man in this house doesn’t love you? What if it’s hell on earth? With plenty money and no peace nor love?” “What if he’s cheating on you?,” I added. She smiled and told me, calmly. “SPiCe, I have been broke before. I have been on a motorcycle and the rider, a married man, tried to woo me.

I have also been in an old Sabo/Lagere Bus and a guy with his girlfriend was winking at me. I have been asked out by poor and married men. So poor men also cheat on their wives. I will rather want a rich man who gives me all the comfort to cheat on me than a broke guy who gives me nothing to push me even further down and break my heart after killing my body and beauty with misery!”

Needles to say I was flabbergasted. I was discombobulated. And I was so pained and so happy to have understood love and sex from women perspective! I was motivated that very night to go from Awo hall to FINE Touch! The next morning, however, when I woke up, I was still in Awo where I am typing this, heads down in my book as exam approaches and Pondering if Ife was truely Great! Yes,I have heard things!

Toblan spice is a law student at Obafemi Awolowo University. CoNnect him now https://cnmediah.wordpress.com/about-us

CoNnect Media House 2016.

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