Save Me! episode 17

By Ikumawoyi Toluwalase

Cover: "Save Me!"

Episode seventeen

Wise words are like deep waters;
Wisdom flows from the wise like a brookling brook……

-Proverbs 18:4

“I remembered narrating this story many times in our meeting but I think today I might have to reiterate an important part of my story… This morning the Holy Spirit would have me repeat it…”Pastor(Dr) Paul said as his voice was booming in the speaker. Joseph had followed John to church and they both sat at the front seat. Joseph was ready for an encounter. He missed his fellowship with God…
“I remember that very scenario where I entered my father in law’s room after hearing the sound. The old man was bleeding from the broken pieces of glasses that pierced his hand when he fell, he was trying to fix his dead wife’s picture when he slipped. As a Doctor I quickly treated him. Though he accepted our proposal but I faced another round of issues in my life until the Holy Spirit intervened…” Doctor Paul said, as he motioned to pick his handkerchief to clean his face. He was the youth pastor of the church and it was youth’s Sunday…
Joseph sat comfortably, though he was shocked at first when he saw doctor Paul coming up to the pulpit, John had explained the situation to him…
“This morning I would be teaching on forgiving yourself . I know some people here would say pastor Paul has come with his teachings again…anyway, sit back and relax because I will be teaching you a revelation that the Holy Spirit taught me when I was depressed blaming myself about the situations I found myself in…you see brethren you can’t give what you don’t have. How can you easily forgive another person when you have not learnt to forgive yourself? Are you getting me?” Doctor Paul asked the attentive congregation and they chorused yes!!
“Alright, firstly you need to understand that Life is full of choices and every choice we make will either take us in a positive, life-giving direction or rob us of the opportunity to be a life-giving individual. Forgiving ourselves does not let us off the hook, it does not justify what we have done, and it is not a sign of weakness. Rather is a symbol of strength.” Doctor Paul was hitting on the introduction of his teaching… Joseph was at full attention he understood the Holy Spirit was opening his eyes of understanding to some deep things…
“Now listen carefully to this- If you look in the mirror and look yourself in the eyes but you don’t like the person you see, then you need to forgive yourself and learn how to love the person that God has made in you! This is what we call a stronghold, or an incorrect thinking pattern that needs to be torn down in your mind. If you have repented of your sins, and taken them before the Lord, then you are forgiven and now you need to come to realize the power of that. You need to stop associating your failures with your “new creation” image, for God’s Word says…
2 Corinthians 5:17, “Therefore if any man be in
Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” Doctor Paul jumped down from the pulpit. The message was getting hotter. Then he continued his message.

“Can you honestly look in the mirror and tell yourself, “I love you” and mean it within your heart? I’m not talking about a prideful way, but a humble means of accepting who God has formed in you. We need to love and accept the person that Christ has made in us, and forgive ourselves as Christ has forgiven us!.. Face your neighbour and repeat that to him or her.” He said that, when he noticed some people were already dozing…

“Now lets talk about the importance of forgiving yourself. When you look inside, you hate yourself, you could kick yourself over and over for your past failures and choices. You’ve come to Jesus and repented, but you haven’t really accepted the truth about what Jesus has done for you yet. You still feel ashamed and guilty over your past and you keep holding it against yourself. The way you see yourself is not an accurate picture of what Christ has done for you. My brothers and sisters!!! It is basically denying the work that Jesus accomplished for you on the cross! If your sins are forgiven, then you need to see yourself as separated from your sins. The enemy will try diligently to remind you of your past and continue to beat you up over sins that were supposed to be nailed to the cross. Tell your neighbour- I have been crucified with Christ Halleluyah…” He walked back to pulpit and went through his sermon note then he continued the message…

“You see…if you are wrapped up in guilt and condemnation my friend…you NEED to forgive yourself. You can go through deliverance, but if you don’t forgive yourself for the mistakes you’ve made, you won’t experience the breakthrough that you need to be totally set free. Let me make you understand the reality…. When the recipient of a gift receives it gladly and with joy, the giver is glorified. But when the recipient receives the gift, but ignores it, the giver is mocked, belittled and feels unappreciated. It is the same thing when we fail to forgive ourselves. We are like a child who is given a trip to Disney World for Christmas, yet he keeps complaining that he can’t go even after his parents have already packed the car and are waiting on him to get in! How would you feel if you were that child’s parents? Wouldn’t you feel sick inside, knowing that you spent all that money on the trip, the tickets, the hotel reservations, etc, and your son refuses to go because he doesn’t believe that what you gave him was real? Hmmmmmh just think about  how your heavenly Father feels when He looks down and sees His children walking around beating themselves up over things that He shed His blood so that they could be forgiven and set free from?” Doctor Paul adjusted the microphone that was attached to his ears.
“Are you enjoying yourself in the presence of God…?” The congregation screamed “yes sir.” Although he was not a motivational speaker, he definitely knew how to catch his audience’s attention
“I believe it is clear that failing to forgive ourselves
from our past mistakes is denying the work of the cross and the shed Blood of Christ in our lives. When God’s Word tells us that we’ve been washed clean with the Blood of Christ and our sins are removed through the atoning work that Jesus did for us… yet we still “could kick ourselves” for our mistakes, then we are basically saying, “I don’t care what the Blood of Jesus has done, I still hate myself for what I’ve done!” “It’s staging to think such a thing, but that is what really happens when we refuse to forgive ourselves.”  Doctor Paul held out his hands in a funny way, placing it by his side. Then he walked up to a lady in the crowd and said to her “If you don’t see yourself as a new creature in Christ, then you have a serious problem. You will be hindered and held back from freely and confidently living out who you really are in Christ! You will be hesitant and feel unworthy to approach your Heavenly Father, because you feel you’re a failure and unworthy. This is why it is vital for your conscience to be cleansed of dead works, I mean your past failures… The scripture in Hebrews 9 verse14 says- “How much more shall the blood of
Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself
without spot to God, purge your conscience from
dead works to serve the living God?” He read the bible offhand and pointing at the large screen that was projecting the Bible verses…

“Listen to this…Failing to forgive yourself will put blinders on your spiritual eyesight quickly. It will cause you to see things through the eyes of guilt, shame and condemnation. It will ruin your faith, and cause you to go blind spiritually. Second Peter chapter 1 verse 9 says “But he that lacketh these things is blind, and cannot see afar off, and hath forgotten that he was purged from his old sins.”
In the following verse, we are told to forgive one
another, but did you know that the root word for
the phrase “one another” actually includes yourself? The Greek root word Heautou refers not only to others, but also to ourselves! Listen to what Colossians 3:13 has to say… “Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.” …Doctor Paul was sweating profusely.
Joseph was on his feet. He could not absorb those words coming out at him. The Holy Spirit was hitting him right in his heart. John was really happy, he had brought him to church that morning though he was reluctant at first…
“Should I stop here and maybe share the grace?” doctor Paul said. “No sir!!, continue please.” The response came from various sections of the congregation…

“Now, God’s Word tells us that Jesus purged that is,
removed our sins Hebrews chapter 1 verse 3 says “…when he had by himself purged our sins…” but if we fail to forgive ourselves, we are in essence, calling God’s Word a liar! We are saying- “I hate myself because I did that sin…I won’t forgive myself of it!” When God’s Word tells us that the sin has been PURGED or REMOVED from us, who are we to say that it is still part of our past? We are in essence, calling God’s Word a LIE! Seriously, brethren…I can’t tell you how important it is to realize that when the recipient of a gift which is you and I receives a
gift of Jesus’ shed blood for the forgiveness of
our sins with joy and enjoys it to the fullness, the
giver of that gift that is Jesus is glorified! Failing
to forgive ourselves is denying or rejecting the gift
of God and brings no glory actually dishonor and
humiliation to what Jesus did for us. Can you please project Hebrews chapter 10 verse 1 to 22… He faced the screen and he read it out loud..

“For the law having a shadow of good things to come, and not the very image of the things, can never with those sacrifices which they offered year by year continually make the comers thereunto perfect. For then would they not have ceased to be offered? because that the worshipers once purged should have had no more conscience of sins. But in those sacrifices there is a remembrance again made of sins every year. For it is not possible that the blood of bulls and of goats should take away sins. Wherefore when he cometh into the world, he saith, Sacrifice and offering thou wouldest not, but a body hast thou prepared me: In burnt offerings and sacrifices for sin thou hast had no pleasure. Then said I, Lo, I come (in the volume of the book it is
written of me,) to do thy will, O God. Above when he
said, sacrifice and offering and burnt offerings and
offering for sin thou wouldest not, neither hadst
pleasure therein; which are offered by the law; Then
said he, Lo, I come to do thy will, O God. He taketh
away the first, that he may establish the second. By
the which will we are sanctified through the offering
of the body of Jesus Christ once for all. And every
priest standeth daily ministering and offering
oftentimes the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins: But this man, after he had offered one sacrifice for sins forever, sat down on the right hand of God; From henceforth expecting till his enemies be made his footstool. For by one offering he hath perfected forever them that are sanctified. Whereof the Holy Ghost also is a witness to us: for after that he had said before, This is the covenant that I will make with them after those days, saith the Lord, I will put my laws into their hearts, and in their minds will I write them; And their sins and iniquities will I remember no more . Now where remission of these is, there is no more offering for sin. Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the blood of Jesus by a new and living way, which he hath consecrated for us, through the veil, that is to say, his flesh; And having a high priest over the house of God; Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience, and our bodies washed with pure water.”

“I so much love the book of Hebrews…so explanatory. Alright lets take a step further. Can we all open our bibles to Matthew 14:21-31…its a story we very conversant with…Peter and Jesus…Its something we Christians are guilty of. We follow Christ yet we look at the environment like Peter, and we are drowning… So quickly, how do we get through unforgiving spirit. How do we stop it? Let’s see Step1 which says, be honest with yourself…you have to realize that deep down inside, you’re not happy with the person of your past. If you are in denial, then forget trying to treat the root of your problem. You need to see the problem before you can apply the solution. It might even  be helpful to
list all of the things that you hate about your past,
and one-by-one, give them to the Lord and release
yourself from each failure.” “I hope you are writing it down… Step 2 says you need to realize that your debt has been PAID…The only way that you can beat yourself up, after Jesus has paid your debt, is if you aren’t accepting the gift that He has given you. If He has paid the debt, and you keep denying that fact, then you are rejecting the very gift that God has given you! You need to accept what Jesus has done for you by faith…Galatians 2:16 says “Knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law, but by the faith of Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Jesus Christ, that we might be justified by the faith of Christ, and not by the works of the law: for by the works of the law shall no flesh be justified.”
My brother…the blood of Jesus was shed for the payment of your sins. Jesus said it clearly in Matthew chapter 26 verse 28, “For this is my blood of the new testament, which is shed for many for the remission of sins.” Now Because of the powerful work that Christ did for us on the cross, God’s Word tells us to come boldly unto the throne of grace, so that we can obtain mercy:…The price for your redemption has been paid in full. It’s up to you receive it and realize that the blood of Jesus actually removes the sin from your record. Now you need to see yourself as being forgiven and justified which means, “just as if you’ve never sinned.” In Luke 7, Jesus took a very sinful woman likely a prostitute and freely washed her clean without hesitation…Luke 7:47 says “Wherefore I say unto thee, her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little. “This verse is just one example of how freely Jesus would forgive a person of their sins. It is true that if we take our sins to Jesus, He will freely
forgive us without hesitation: Also take a look at Romans 3:24, “Being justified freely by his grace
through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus:”
There is also no sin that you can take to Jesus which He will not forgive, for the Bible tells us that He is prepared to cleanse us of ALL unrighteousness if we will turn to Him with our failures! Even 1John 1:9 made it more clear that “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” We are getting closer to the end of the teaching.” Doctor Paul said out loud, as he checked his wristwatch. The protocol official already brought a warning note for him to round up.

“Let us quickly look into Step 3 which says- Allow the Holy Spirit to heal your soul. You need to let God heal you. As long as you keep holding something against yourself, you are blocking the Holy Spirit’s power from entering and healing that area of your mind and life! You need to open up your heart, and allow the light of Christ to shine into the darkness of your soul….and to the last step it says- Begin to see the “new creature” of Christ within you…You are not seeing yourself as you really are. If you’ve repented of your past, and sought God’s forgiveness, then you are forgiven and justified which means “just as if I’ve never sinned”..It’s not that you should try to forget what happened and don’t remind yourself of it either, but the important key is to see your past through the Blood of Jesus. You need to see your past as “paid in full” by the work that Christ did for you on the cross! Seeing things with this perspective changes everything! You need to begin seeing yourself through the blood of Jesus. So that day, when the enemy was trying to beat me up over my past, the Holy Spirit spoke clearly to me and said, “You need to KNOW that you’re clean…your faith depends upon it!” Your what!!…” Doctor Paul screamed loud as he closed his sermon note…
Tears were flowing from Joseph’s eyes… The sermon was an eye opener, it touched every part of his life… He was sorry for everything… As just as the altar call was made… He was the first to make his way to the altar… And as he got to the front a hand touched his shoulder. He looked back and saw Jadesola.. And beside her was James. Their eyes were red from crying. Joseph turned around and hugged his best friend saying I forgive you.  And then he turned to look at Jadesola… “Sweetheart am sorry… I know I hurt you.” He was cut short by Jade who made a shut up sign with her hand to her mouth… They joined the others who were standing in front to say their confessions to God…

To be continued in the episode finale…

 

Thank you for following so far, hope it’s been quite a productive experience

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